Time to Get off the Pitty Pot

I was just reading Bill's blog (weedon.blogspot.com) on the Canaanite woman who struggled with God for a healing for her daughter. Her faith and stick-to-it brought her to the feet of Jesus. She never blamed God for her daughter's illness, nor did she lash out at others for her misfortune. I wish I could say the same. We all handle hurts in different ways. By God's grace He will bring you back on the right path. It's easy to blame God for all your pain. I should know. I sure have blamed him much in the last few years. I think what always made me angry was the fact that 'if' He loved me so much, why so much illness and pain. My earthly father would have done everything in his power to make things better. The more I prayed, the worse it was. Was I doing something wrong? Where was my healing? Why with each year did I seem to get worse? These questions I just couldn't find answers for. It got so bad that my anger took over control of my whole being. I was on a downward spiral and no one knew it. I felt like my life didn't mean anything to anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. How do you overcome those feelings of being lost?

I have always had the scriptures at my fingertips. Never a day went by that even in my anger I didn't read His Word or write words that the Holy Spirit gave me. He has given me much but He still hadn't given me what I wanted. Healing for my body. I knew He loved me, I knew He cared. Then why? Was I such a bad person? It has taken me several years to find the answer and realized the answer was with me the whole time. "He would never give me more than I could endure." "It was a testing of my faith." "I will never leave nor forsake you." I needed to come to a complete understanding of God's purpose for my life. Not just to talk the good life but to live the good life no matter how I felt or what was going on in my life. To show the world that even in pain I could turn and trust in a loving God. That He knows my pain and cries with me. There is a purpose for everything under the sun.

Every Sunday at the table He is there. As I eat and drink strength flows into me. God is there. He is not in some far off place where you can't commune with Him. The healing I wanted might never come, but I receive a greater healing when I talk with Him at the altar of communion. I have been at altars before but Communion was just bread and grape juice. Nothing more and nothing less. It was always rush through, get it over with so we can sing praises.

Listen up, before you stand to take the bread of life and the blood of the lamb. Do some preparation first. When I enter the church I sit and quietly pray. Before I take the communion I stand at the table and thank the Lord for all He has done for me and ask forgiveness for those sins I knowingly and unknowingly committed. I tell Him I am His to do with as He pleases. I no longer belong to me for I am His. Then I know I am ready to take the bread and the wine. Praise be to God.

I received a letter from an old friend just last week that told me that because of my faith in God and because I always stood firm in His Word that she thought of me as a spiritual Mother to her. God knows when we need to be encouraged so don't lose hope but continue to be blessed and next time your at the altar, know that He is there with you and hears your every prayer and will answer according to His good Word. Amen!